Keeping Promises with Vacation Alternatives

(originally written in July, 2000)

Summer is nearly here, the children are restless waiting for the end of the school year, and Mom and Dad are faced with gasoline exceeding two bucks a gallon. Last fall you made a promise to go to America’s most popular fun spots or favorite cities for this summer’s vacation. So, if you haven’t yet figured out how to deliver on your promise and save face without using the plastic cards or depleting the bank account, here are some alternative vacation ideas.
You promised Disneyland, so go to Disney, Oklahoma. You won’t see Mickey Mouse or any of the Fantasia cast, but you can see the fantastic Pensacola Dam that creates Grand Lake. If Graceland was in your plans, try Fairland. Fran’s Flea Market is known to have a few Elvis items in her shop on Main Street from time to time. Then spend the night six miles west at the Old Route 66 Motel in an Elvis-themed room.
You may not be able to go to Wyoming this year, but you can see some “Bears” at Wyandotte. If you said “Twin Cities,” you might slip up and say “Twin Bridges.” Camp and fish for a week just a few miles from home.
The Redwoods of California could easily be mistaken for Red Oak, Missouri just northeast of Joplin. There is a neat little historic village there, just off of highway 96, called Red Oak II. Other California vacations easily replaced include Sunset Strip, right here in the southwest part of Miami, Oklahoma. The San Francisco Zoo could be swapped for Monkey Island. You may have to look closely to find any “animals,” but you should see at least a squirrel or rabbit on the golf course. Or, if you were thinking of Hollywood or Los Angeles, go west on highway 96 to Hallowell, Kansas and visit Angelo’s. Owners, Mike and Denise Roark, have a unique one-of-a-kind deli style sandwich featuring their own “Angelo’s sauce” that can’t be beat. Of course, if you wanted Nashville, there is one on highway 43 just north of Joplin, Missouri. (Photo above.) For a “New York” trip, go to Boston, Missouri, or to Brooklyn Heights, northeast of Joplin. If you promised them Las Vegas, take a detour through Nevada, Missouri and then come back to one of eight tribal casinos in or near Miami, Oklahoma.
You may have promised the French Quarter in New Orleans and have to deliver french fries from near Oronogo, but who will notice? Instead of going to see where they used to tape the television series “Melrose Place,” you could buy a rock from the highway shop in Melrose, Kansas.
You won’t see the Niagra Falls at Narcissa, but you can stand below the water tower and listen for rushing water. Akron, Ohio may be famous for tires, but you won’t wear out a set of them driving to Afton, Oklahoma to the site of Buffalo Ranch. It’s not the original one, now just a convenience store, but there are few live buffalo out in the back field for the effect.
Obviously Miami, Oklahoma could be substituted for a trip to Miami, Florida. Our shoreline is hard to find, but for tickets at the Coleman Theatre Beautiful it’s a short line. And there is no need to worry about ocean water getting in your camera. If you planned on a side trip to a sports museum, stop by Commerce, Oklahoma to see the boyhood home of Mickey Mantle. Or if you’re big on IMAX theaters, go to the 66 Drive-In near Carthage, Missouri and park right under the screen. It’s the same, nearly.
Boulder City, Missouri might do for a Colorado trip, or Grand Lake instead of Grand Canyon. A trip to the “rockies” could include Rocky Comfort, Missouri and Table Rock Lake. You might get by with Bluejacket instead of Yellowstone. Or Picher to see the same mining history that you might see in the Ozarks.
More exotic locations are available in Kansas, such as Peru and Havana. There’s a great little lake at Toronto, Kansas and you won’t need a jacket, like you might at the Canadian city. The kids wanted to go up in the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, but you can take them up the McDonald’s arch near the Vinita exit on the Will Rogers Turnpike instead.
You may not “Ride the Ducks” or go on a Royal Caribbean cruise, but you can go to the Royal Bay Theater at Grove, Oklahoma and ride the Cherokee Queen I or II. See a show, “Back to the 50’s” at Kountry Kousins Jamboree, thinking you’re at the Grand Ole Opry. But if you were planning on Silver Dollar City, spend the same $43.65 and stay all day at the local Dollar General.
Sacrifices? Perhaps. But then, the horribly high price of gasoline could have a positive impact on four state businesses, by keeping us closer to home and taking a closer look at our own attractions.